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Facing Writer's Block? Here is Hoping this Letter to Myself Helps You as It Helped Me.

Image Credit: Clip Art Max

Letter to myself


25th April 2018                                              

For the longest time, I have wanted to write something. Anything. I wanted to see my work published somewhere. For it to have a profound effect upon people, to be admired and praised for the sheer genius of what comes out of this brilliant mind of mine. But all these wants and daydreaming of one day receiving hordes of accolades and admiration have only resulted in one thing - the demise of my writing.

I never got round to writing anything. I guess the fear of failure did get to me in the end. I simply stopped, and for a long time didn't even think of writing. It is amazing what uncontrolled fear can do. It can stop you from doing the simple things that you used to enjoy doing. Things that you do simply because of the joy it gives you. 

It is amazing what uncontrolled fear can do. It can stop you from doing the simple things that you used to enjoy doing.

Writing used to be something I turned to when I was feeling unusually creative or depressingly down. It was the one thing that could wipe the upsets of my heart and lift my spirits, doesn't matter if it's only by a little bit. For months now, I have been feeling increasingly unhappy by the circumstances in my life and even though in the back of my mind there is this constant nagging, that perhaps taking to the pen again would help deal with it, I guess the fear was so strong that I never did it until now.

But why should fear exist when I am going to be writing for myself? I shouldn't have to defend my writing from myself. In fact, if I myself don't learn to accept and love all that I write, all that I create, any form of art really, if I don't learn to appreciate what I have created, how can I even for a moment expect anybody else to take to them?

Accolades and admiration are far away dreams. The fact is that I have a lot to learn before I reach that space that is outside of me, separate from me. First I have to conquer myself! All these deep-rooted insecurities that lie inside of me, if left alone without vanquishing, would fester and fuel the fears that are already there. 

First I have to conquer myself

I guess now that I know what the problem is, I can at least work towards making it less of a problem. And hopefully someday the problem will simply cease to exist. It doesn't matter how small the steps are or even if it's only one step at a time. Just working on it can ease my mind with the knowledge that one day I may be a better me. That one day I will learn that my love for myself is the most important thing. 

If writing serves to make me happy and if it rids my upset even for just that moment when my fingers are striking the keyboard so words appear on this screen, then writing is what I shall endeavor to do. Writing for myself, not for the need of affirmation from a thousand others. Writing just because it brings me comfort from the knowledge that at least this one thing, I know I can do even if I fail in so many more.

Writing for myself, not for the need of affirmation from a thousand others

Maybe one day, I will look back on this moment and appreciate this writing more than any others I have done because this one I know I did for me and myself only. A personal piece that is both a message and a form of solace for me. 

A piece that begs me to write. That compels me to surge forward, to not think about the final product, to just keep going because with every word that appears on the screen my heart is singing with joy. Joy at the simple pleasure of writing and creating. Joy that it is happening after the longest time. Joy at the tentative hope that this will be one of the first of many more writings to come. 

So here is a promise to myself that more will follow, even if it's just a few lines at a time.                                     


Before I end this off, it is imperative to point out that I was moved to write this piece to myself by Jeff Goins. I stumbled upon his manifesto for writers that declares "Stop Writing to be Read and Adored". Really moved me. So thank you Jeff Goins!

**I do still occasionally experience the dreaded writer's block. Would love to hear what you guys do to overcome this stumbling block of a hurdle.

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